Do you have someone in your life who just gives you the irks? Someone who disappoints you, infuriates you or just leaves you feeling heavy? Is it your mother, your father, an ex partner, a long lost friend or perhaps a neighbour or your boss....
And wouldn’t you like to change how your feeling, if only they would change how they were. Then you would be back in your power, peaceful and happy right? I wish I hear you say!
The ultimate thing that impacts us in our lives is our interaction with others. Ever noticed that when things are good, it’s good, but when things are bad or not flowing smoothly, you become consumed by the discomfort. Thousands of thoughts fly through your head as you compare your actions, feeling and thoughts and run them through an invisible comparison chart with the particular who’s ‘doing’ this to you. And time and time again you conclude, it’s them, not me. And if only they would ........ life would be easy!
Well, let me tell you that you are not alone in this thinking. You’re also not alone in feeling powerless against the tirade of negative emotions that course through you. And you are certainly not alone when you try to ‘fix’ the other. To this fixing of course which the other responds with in either animosity, shut down or a full blown argument which may continue to compound year after year.
Now, is this working for you? “H*** no!” I hear you say! Ok, so, now that you are aware that bucking up against that that doesn’t serve you takes a looooot of energy and moves you closer to discomfort rather than resolve. And of course all of these experiences then go into the filing cabinet of self, which we call the subconscious, for you to retrieve at any time when you wish to compile a list of things you have been hard done by. Bit boring and pointless hey.
Ok, now that we’re clear of the stuff that is not working, let me show you how you can reset. I call this module ‘Shine the Light’. And it’s literally that. If you’d like to have different interactions with others, then it’s you, yourself that needs to change. Try this tool..
APPLY If another person is letting you down, infuriating you or just making you feel heavy, then the reality is that they are just stepping into your frequency of ‘expectation’. Your whole body disposition, the tonality of your voice, your posture, the animation of your face, the way you place your feet, hold your eyes and speak, will all create the space for this other to step into. So, if you’re in a negative state and expecting that person to ruffle you, then ruffle you they will. However, if you would like to create something different, then ‘shine the light’.
All you have to do is get your whole body disposition into a place of what you would like. So, for example, if you’d like to feel supported, then you would enter into a conversation/interaction with the other, in the space that they are already supportive of you. So, you may say such things to them as “you always have my back” “you’re very generous in helping others out” “I love the way you care about others so”. All of these things, even though they may not be a reality at them time, are designed as a future projection. A fake it till you make it. The tone of your voice, your face, your body composition, has to all be in alignment of feeling supported. And from this space you speak to the person who isn’t currently supportive.
You may notice a quizzical look on their face or they may verbalise that’s not true. However, your role is to continue shining the light. And this may take a few catch ups or for some perhaps months or years, but the more you hold the space for someone to be that which you wish to celebrate, the more they will start to shift their behaviours to match the frequency you’re emitting.
As always, practice, play with this material, because once you become aware of how powerful your mind is, and that you can harness it, you will create profoundly peaceful experiences all round. Enjoy!