BEING IMPACTED BY OTHER’S APPARENT PERSPECTIVES...
YOU are the most important person to listen to... YOU always have the answers...just get your head out of the way.
Have you noticed that sometimes you have challenging thoughts in relation to an event, like whether you should buy a new car, or whether you should leave the job that you really, really don’t like, or whether you should move house or move on from your relationship... So, you spend time pondering this and accumulate a whole bunch of thoughts of pro’s and con’s and then perhaps even get in touch with how this makes you feel.
And then you go, yes, that’s it, I’ve got it! I know what I’m going to do. So, off you skip into your day and go along and share your wonderful conclusion around what you’ve decided to do. You share it with a person you are really close to and what they think matters to you. You tell them what you’re doing and they stare at you like you’re mad and say that’s a silly idea.
And poooof, in one macro second your solid certainty dwindles from 100% down to 50% and keeps declining by the moment, all based on the fact that your confidante has a different perspective than you.
Now, ultimately, this is the key time for you to truly know yourself. To back yourself and be certain in the decision you have made. But for most of us, that’s not what happens. We listen to other’s opinions. Other’s perhaps fear driven opinions. It comes across that they are indeed caring for our well being, and in their true intent that’s just what they are doing. But the reality is that you’ve just become confused again and perhaps even a little overwhelmed. The peace of the decision you made fades and you return to questioning everything and recreating the stress and uncertainty and before you know it, voila, you are exactly where you were before you started the process of resolving this ‘thing’ that didn’t serve you.
Round and around you go...Sound familiar?
Well, here’s a couple of things you need to know. You, my dear friend, have the answers to everything. You my dear friend are your own best healer and guider. When another contributes to your decision making and throws you off path as to where you had intended to go, they are doing so based on their perspectives of life. Of a lifetime of experiences and opinions created, belief systems, unmet emotional needs, triumphs and tribulations, all locked into their apparent perspective of the world, life and of how they may perceive what is best for you.
And in a short conversation they can influence you with ‘their perspective’ of the world. Not that there is anything wrong with that......except that it’s not your perspective and now you’ve taken on their point of view and shut down what you already knew instinctively....and then this creates confusion and kafuffle and you’re right back to being stuck and uncertain again.
So, here’s a super cool tool for you to use for these kind of scenarios from here on.
APPLY- Simply ask yourself.... Does this information, this person, this opinion give me energy. Does it leave me feeling energy neutral or do I feel that this drains my energy. This is a wonderful way to tap back into your gut instinct, your true knowing self. The one that doesn’t question or doubt your knowing. The one that is the ultimate truth before your busy ‘too knowing, fear based mind kicks in.
You don’t have to analyse it over and over. Just sit for a moment and ask the 3 simple questions.... - Does it give me energy - Is it energy neutral - This is energy draining.
If it gives you energy, that’s your truth. If it’s energy neutral, well, that’s impartial, so it doesn’t matter either way. And if it drains you of energy, then it doesn’t serve you and is not the conclusive path you need to follow.
And in relation to other’s opinions, you can apply the same principal. Is this about me, or is this about them? If it’s them, then it’s not yours and doesn’t serve you. Simple. If you feel light in the answer to this question, then you know it’s yours, not theirs. If their response makes you feel heavy, then ultimately it will be their stuff, their fears, their belief systems, not yours.
This is one of the greatest tools you can use throughout life to come back and centre within yourself. If you have low self esteem and need the approval of others to guide you, remember, you always have the answers. Just trust it. Go within and try the above process. You’ll very quickly work out that you are in the know all along.
Because the most important person to listen to in this world is YOU. Well, the core of you, not that busy processing mind.
You can use this tool in relation to the following: The food you choose to eat. Ask, does it give me energy, energy neutral or drain me. Relationships. Ask, does it give me energy, energy neutral or drain me. Spending money.
Finding a vocation you are passionate about
Choosing an outfit
Spending time with friends, family
...the list goes on. What do you choose to use this process on?